Jobs for the World: Truly Beloved Leaders

By Martin Thoolen,
Published at 16 March 2022.
Read 7 minutes.

Why do we have wars?

Principally due to the influence of the incumbent world leaders.

No more war? High time for ‘Truly Beloved Leaders’.

Because the current leaders, who are fanning the flames of war, will not change fundamentally. But what exactly is going on, and what is needed to make a better world?

In my upcoming books and new `Masterclass Year’ on ‘Inspired leadership’ you can find answers, which I would like to start sharing with you now.

“Much of the evil in the world is due to the fact that man in general is hopelessly unconscious”

Carl Jung

From ‘ego leadership’ to ‘inspired leadership’

In broad terms, you can distinguish between two types of leaders: Ego Leaders and Inspired Leaders. To end wars, the leaders. yourself must change, and new leaders arise who are seen to be Inspired Leaders.

“The only thing that leads to war is ego”

Ego Leaders

Ego leaders are leaders who insidiously enact old-fashioned leadership styles based on their patriarchal ego. Every ego has various passengers that control your thoughts, feelings and behaviour. For instance, your inner pleaser, pusher or perfectionist. However, ego leaders frequently have a dominant inner patriarch who unconsciously takes the reins. They are steered by their inner patriarchand are usually unaware that this is happening. But if this ego passenger is too strongly represented it causes polarisation, division, conflict and war. But how?

The patriarchal ego leader

The patriarch is the paternal side of both male and female egos. It is the side that always positions itself above everyone, and women in particular (this can be a basic attitude, as shown by Leary’s Rose). Leary’s Rose illustrates that people can have different interactive attitudes, varying from above/below to opposed/together.

Ideally, this side really cares for the people that he feels responsible for. The patriarch uses his power resources appropriately in the best interests of the entire community that he leads, or thinks he leads. He rewards, punishes or ignores others in both tangible and intangible ways. The patriarch has a dominant bearing in thought or action – ‘his will is law; he decides and commands.’ He relies on knowledge being power and, when push comes to shove, he will display his power while concealing his vulnerable side. He can broadcast effectively, but has poor reception and listening skills. He minimises or dismisses criticism directed towards him, obstructing any effective action. He will also more readily accept something from a man, than a woman due to his covert belief in male superiority. When the patriarch does not get his way we often see a child of their ego suddenly throw a violent tantrum.

Extreme ego leadership

However, if leaders’ egos take on even more extreme forms this can lead to them falling into one of eight ego-coup roles, namely:

  1. Predator
  2. Wall
  3. Greedy child
  4. Chameleon
  5. Chest-beater
  6. Ruler
  7. Rat
  8. Beggar

When the inner patriarch in leaders takes on extreme forms we often see a combination of these roles, which control their thoughts, behaviour and choices. In any case, we see the ‘Ruler’ come more to the fore in their way of being.

Ego as Ruler

In this case, a leader cares for his people, according to a ‘personal diktat.’ He does whatever it takes to be on top, because then he will have more power and influence. They put themselves above others, who must obey their will in order to meet their needs. To achieve this, they use a wide range of power resources, not just the aforementioned position of power. But strong powers of persuasion (which is sometimes expressed as literally screaming at ‘your people’), charisma, strategic traits (including lying) expertise or knowledge, income or status or networks can also be employed to impose their will on others.

If the people ‘under them’ are not obedient, they condemn them and try to get rid of them. The driving force is the fear that they, or their group, will be inadequate or enjoy less prestige. They consistently communicate this fear by means of threats issued to those who think differently. By intimidation. For instance, when the chairman of the board gives you hell, while it is not you but several incumbent administrators who are incompetent. Or threatening using displays of power – from threats of dismissal to military parades with nuclear missiles.

“Every system or relationship that does not give space for the existence and unique expression of the soul, imprisons the soul”

You make your allies dependent by giving preferential treatment and other privileges. For example, in the Corona policy that was enforced by a great many countries all over the world we saw preferred groups, and others who were free to kick the bucket. Vaccines first went to the rich, and then the poor.

Als je ego nog meer wilt overheersen, breid je je territorium aan eigen bevoegdheden uit en laat ze – als het even kan – vastleggen in statutaire bepalingen, soms tot aan de grondwet toe. Daardoor trek je nog meer macht naar je toe. Kijk maar naar sommigen van onze huidige dictatoriale regeringsleiders. En daar blijft het niet bij, want liefst breiden ze letterlijk hun territorium uit en beroven andere volkeren van hun land. Om zichzelf en hun voorkeursgroep te bedienen. Ten koste van anderen.

This ego-based leadership style always reinforces polarisation and separation between people, nations and ethnic groups/peoples because a part of the group, which has not been listened to sufficiently, is excluded. A milder form is the emergence of protests, which ego-leaders have prompted with their own behaviour. For example, underpayment of care staff in the Netherlands, from citizens suspected of tax fraud who are ignored for years to farmers who are not actually being heard. We have seen this happen all over the world for centuries on a larger and more extreme scale.

But things can be different if ‘Inspired Leaders’ rule the world.

Inspired Leaders

Inspired Leaders are leaders who seek cooperation, connection and peace. They are aware of how their own ego and soul works, and how this affects their choices and behaviour. They are open to criticism, approachable and actually accept their own share of responsibility for their actions.

They are honest and speak freely, when the truth is under threat. They are truth-finders who reveal its essence. They see past the lies and disinformation used by rulers. They don’t judge when there are differences of opinion, but explore the underlying motivations on the basis of curiosity. They always seek respectful dialogue in order to build bridges.

These leaders want equality for everyone. Their policy is geared to equal rights for everyone. For example, voting rights, rewards, sufficient healthy food and drink, shelter, healthcare and education shared fairly for everyone. Any success and income that they enjoy is shared with their people. If you do this with some of the indigenous peoples in the USA, you receive a success feather because you have shared your success with the community.

These leaders motivate and empower their people. They create team spirit. People under them feel really seen, heard and supported. This is why these leaders are often so beloved by most of the population. Take a look back in history and you frequently hear the populace praise these leaders, even if they have been dead for a long time: Nelson Mandela (South Africa); Mahatma Ghandi (India); Dr. Martin Luther King (USA), King Rama IX Bhumibol Adulyadej (Thailand), Chief Dan George (BC, Canada) to name but a few.

Current leaders with an ego coup

If you look around the world today you can see that all the leaders of the following countries have this separating style of leadership: Russia, Brazil the Philippines, Turkey, Belarus, Syria, Venezuela, North Korea and China, to name but a few. They add to people’s pain and suffering with emotional, physical or intellectual captivity.

“If you do not change, you never can change society”

Nelson Mandela

Do you, as a leader and non-leader, want to contribute to a better world?
Are you a leader, administrator, director or executive? Or a department head, team leader or manager? Or a mother of a family? All these leaders can make a better world! And even if you are not a leader, you can contribute so many beautiful things to a better world, as you can read in my previous article on personal leadership:

In short, there at least three ways prevent war and restore peace:

  1. Current leaders evolve into Inspired Leaders
  2. Training new leaders to be Inspired Leaders
  3. Developing personal leadership (see:

Imagine what will happen when your (personal or collective) leadership is lifted to a higher level. Your input will be regarded as even more useful and fulfilling by you and ‘your’ people. As a leader you will contribute even more to the community. Most people will start to see you as a ‘popular leader.’ You will also be able to deal with the contradictory interests of parties that you are involved with even more effectively and diplomatically. Your leadership evolves from ego-leadership to inspired leadership.

But how will your leadership be most effective?How do you maximise the potential and enjoyment of your people? And how do you make a personal contribution to a better world?

A personal contribution to a better world?

As a leader and non-leader, you can do and develop so much to boost your contribution to a better world. And it also gives your life more meaning.

In everything you do, check whether your ego is dominant. Do you sincerely approach people from a place of positivity, curiosity, neutrality, honesty and connection?

Would you like to dig deeper and enrich yourself with a valuable contribution to your work and life? Then I am currently offering four (and five in 2023) services that can inspire you as a leader:

  1. Professional one-on-one-Coaching (
  2. Customised workshops with your management team or Board(
  3. Development and implementation of an in-company ‘Inspired Leadership’ course (
  4. Inspiration from books, blogs, articles, videos and podcasts on inspired leadership on the inspiration page of this website (
  5. Participation in a year-long Masterclass Year: ‘Inspired Leadership’, with open registration (from 2023). Check the website regularly for updates.

Would you like to know more? or app, call or e-mail me, and I will reply as soon as possible.

Thank you for reading this article and I hope that we can make a more beautiful world together!

Warmest regards,  


#nowar #peace #leadership #leadershipdevelopment #Executivecoaching

© 2022: Martin Thoolen

Martin Thoolen

My 30 years of professional experience as an awareness coach, clinical and organisational psychologist has enabled me to help thousands of clients in Personal or Collective Leadership. Both groups and individuals, in coaching sessions, training courses, leadership development and organisation development programs, retreats and seminars.
Read more

Raed also:

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *