Is that so? What would you yourself answer right now?
A question that has been raised as a proposition and book title (Most people are virtuous) in a book by fellow-countryman Rutger Bregman (translated to another title as: Humankind: A Hopeful History).
And what would I say in all honesty? This question puzzeled me.
For in recent years, it seems that society—and thus we as individuals collectively—are treating one another in a somewhat grimmer, more polarizing, more radical, more aggressive, and more divided manner. Not only among world leaders or leaders of influential organizations, but also as neighbors on the street, or on the road in traffic, or even within our own family. ‘Car-rage’ is one such phenomenon that was unheard of decades ago. Lack of virtue seems to prevail among many of us. Moreover, the author, as a brave warrior of truth, frequently raises matters that are not virtuous or decent.
And of course, we like to believe that most people are good. That offers a positive tone in these dark times, and that positivism is exactly what we need. In essence, I also believe that most people are good in essence, as you will see later in this article. But it is by no means always obvious. A positive outlook fuels a universal desire for peace that we humans ultimately all carry within us ‘deep down’: to experience happiness and peace in our lives and with one another. For we ourselves create our reality with the thoughts we operate from.
First, it is important how you define ‘virtue’. Is it fundamentally kind-hearted and friendly by nature, or having predominantly good intentions, or possessing a good moral compass to treat people kindly and not hostilely, or making actual behaviors and choices that have good rather than harmful consequences for others? For example, you can have good intentions (and in that sense be ‘virtuous’), yet still make choices in your behavior that are hostile or harmful to others (‘not virtuous’). Or vice versa, behaving in a socially acceptable manner, but still (continuing to) think badly of someone. Moreover, ‘good’ or ‘bad’ is perceived and interpreted differently by people. So what one person considers good, another may consider wrong, fueled by the norms and values to which someone attaches importance. And what is a great good in one time or civilization is pernicious in another. So it is not that black and white.
For the sake of convenience, let us assume that ‘virtue’ embraces all the actual facets mentioned: a good moral compass, good intentions, being genuinely friendly and not hostile or aggressive, and manifesting in concrete behaviors and choices that do not harm others, but do good and give a good feeling.
Secondly, it is simply a matter of the perspective from which you view ‘virtue’ as how it comes alive and across. Three universal forces can be distinguished that shed a different light on ‘virtue’, namely: ego, soul, and spirit (or: universal consciousness). Forces that are explained extensively and with solid reasoning in the book ‘Spirited Personal Leadership – for more effective work, a meaningful life, and a better world’.
One way of looking at your ego is like a bus where some passengers take over the wheel, often without you realizing it. As you can see in ‘The Psychology of Selves & Voice Dialogue’ by Hal & Sidra Stone, in which I was trained in the USA. For example, you have an inner ‘pleaser’ who wants to meet the needs of others; a ‘perfectionist’ who strives for beauty in form and quality; a ‘pusher’ who delivers output and quantity; etc.
We often want to show the beautiful and constructive ego passengers of our ego, because they score well in terms of social desirability or work performance, and they provide us with recognition, status, money, and appreciation. However, within all of us there are also shadow sides that can pop out like a jack-in-the-box. Especially when you have never learned to know, recognize, and acknowledge these shadow sides. For instance, you may have been sweet for a very long time, but if someone gets on your nerves so much a destructive side suddenly emerges from the trailer of your bus and briefly takes over the wheel. And before you know it, you are behaving verbally, non-verbally, or physically aggressively. Are you virtuous then? At that moment, simply not.
You are structurally ‘virtuous’ at the ego level when you have learned to know your shadow sides and have managed to integrate them in a controlled manner. Or as Carl Jung said: "One is not enlightened by imagining all kinds of images of light, but by becoming aware of one's own inner darkness."
"One is not enlightened by imagining all kinds of images of light, but by becoming aware of one's own inner darkness." (Carl Jung)
Virtually everyone, myself included, is born with a number of natural talents and traumas that you bring with you in your soul baggage and acquire further throughout your life. Talents to develop and express, and traumas and negative karma to resolve and heal. If you do that, life becomes more meaningful and lighter, and you are fundamentally virtuous. Why? Because continuous self-reflection and development, compassion, and kindness have come to dominate as the natural overtones.
However, if you do not engage in this process (such as blaming others for discontent), you often repeat your behavioral patterns and do not truly develop fundamentally. Or worse still, if you continue to repeat negative or destructive actions stemming from traumas and negative thoughts, you actually build up negative karma. Your actions and choices reinforce hostility or harm others. In that case, there is soul regression instead of progression, and you are structurally not virtuous more often than you can be.
And how many of us actually put this into practice—what makes us truly virtuous?
A universal primal force from which everything originates and moves towards, among many other names, you can call ‘spirit’. It is a force that connects everything with everything, where everything exists on an equal footing. At this level, there is no judgment. There are only choices and behaviors based on free will that lead to certain consequences. Simply to learn from them oneself.
Virtuousness as an expression of judgment does not exist here. Only peaceful coexistence. At this level, with our individual or collective diversity, we are all the same, all a ‘human being’. Or as the Maya Indians used to say during mutual greetings: “In-Lakesh”, which means: ‘I am another you and you are another me’.
Then you live in harmony and peace with yourself and each other. If we were all to live and work from this perspective more, then we would all be virtuous in a certain sense. Essentially, I believe that all people are indeed all like that and are fundamentally good. In that sense, I fully agree with the author.
Only historical, emotionally painful soul experiences, unhealed traumas, and excessive ego have tainted people and separated them from this beautiful inner nature. Both individually and collectively, as a group, nation, or people.
To be honest, I sincerely do not know how many, or whether most people and humanity in general are decent or not, because I have not conducted extensive scientific research into this according to the given definitions. I do know, however, that the recurrence of wars, conflicts, and major and minor quarrels throughout history stems from: too much ego and/or unprocessed or unhealed soul pain. Both individually and collectively within nations and peoples.
“All wars, conflicts, major and minor quarrels throughout all history stem from too much ego and/or unprocessed or unhealed soul pain”
My heartfelt wish is that everyone is virtuous, but in my view, that does not happen automatically. We have to do something for it. And that lies not only with our leaders, but with each and every one of us. So, you too. I am not saying that you are undeserving or not virtuous. On the contrary. But I do think that each of us, and together, can be more virtuous. Which makes living and living together more pleasant.
“We have to do something in becoming more virtuous”
It requires you to regularly observe yourself and never stop doing so or think you are finished. The following steps can help you become more virtuous:
1. Be open to constructive feedback about yourself and take it to heart if many people say the same thing about you, even if it is unpleasant. Listen to and look at yourself, especially then.
2. Examine your own behavior (verbal, non-verbal, and physical) and see if it harms or has harmed others and learn from it doing things differenty.
3. Learn to know, acknowledge, and balance the shadow sides of your ego.
4. Confront your soul pain and heal your small or large traumas (that each of us have). If you have genuinely become gentler, more forgiving, and live and work more from your heart, from love and peace, then that is partly proof of that.
5. Create space and make choices that bring your natural talents more to light.
6. Live and work more from spirit: kindness, compassion, forgiveness, curiosity, and dialogue.
If you do this, I predict that we will indeed create a world where most people are virtuous, decent and good.
A heartwarming greeting, Martin
© 2026: Martin Thoolen
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