Whether you are a government leader or a spiritual leader, a political or organizational leader, a CEO or CFO of a company, a manager in a company or government agency, or a parent, your actions have a direct impact on the people you lead. And the greater the ‘span of control’, the greater your impact and responsibility.
But how do you make a better world? What hidden forces are at play in the background in you and in other leaders, who do or do not contribute to this? Below you will find a number of answers.
One way of looking at improving the world is to only make it better for ‘my children’, ‘my club’, ‘my organization’, ‘my party members’, ‘my people’. There’s nothing inherently wrong with that, except when it’s at the expense of others, because then you yourself are contributing to exclusion. The danger lies in favoring one group at the expense of others. In actuality, ‘better’ is a very simple concept, namely: better for everyone!
But what then is keeping us from making it better for everyone? Too much ego, along with unprocessed soul pain, make it so our history of wars repeats itself, both on an individual and collective level.
“ Too much ego along with unprocessed soul pain make it so our history of wars repeats itself, both on an individual and collective level.”
How does too much ego manifest itself in leadership, for example? Like a client of mine who recently told me that she was literally thrown out on the street by her mother when she was younger, simply because she had not put a vase with flowers back in the right place. Whereas, when her ‘better’ sister did the same, she got forgiveness and went scot free. As a leader, the mother placed one child above the other.
Another example is from a bank manager who said during an intake interview: ‘During a workshop with colleagues in Spain I was the only one in the group that the Eagle flew to under supervision. To no one else, only to me. Apparently I had something special that the others did not have’. A perfect example of a masked spiritual ego. He used his spiritual experience to elevate himself above others. Just like some leaders who openly or secretly call themselves God’s chosen one.
Too much individual ego manifests itself directly when you simply want more for yourself or your ‘own’ people at the expense of others. And some ego systems feed this behavior.
And what about strengthening your own ego status and creating false prestige by, for example, wanting to be the greatest in the world. Although history has shown that this position is only temporary, many sitting government and religious leaders are seduced by their ego to want to be and remain the richest or most powerful. Or, to build the tallest building, as if they want to show who has the longest you-know-what.
That which plays out individually with you and all others as leaders, also plays out on a collective level. Because what is the most individual, is at the same time the most universal, and vice versa.
“The most individual, is the most universal, and vice versa”
Below you see a few examples of secret beliefs that can also manifest collectively as too much ego.
Individually too much ego & Collectively too much ego
Just think for example of putting ‘my own football team’ above all others. If you attach a lot of importance to that, it can lead to war in and outside the stadium.
And how wonderful would it be if leaders of countries would step out of their collective ego-identification and go from: ‘Make America Great Again’, to: ‘Make the World Great Again’.
But what else do some leaders encourage to increase inequality? How about making the rich richer, and making the poor, who suffer from famines and the likes, poorer, for example. “I’m providing my people with vaccination against Covid first.” “My own people at the expense of others.” Even if that appears to necessitate expansion of your own power through constitutional amendments, or illegally expanding your territory and engaging in ‘land grabs’. Just look at what is currently happening with Russia and Ukraine, the USA and Greenland, China and Taiwan, or Israel and Palestine. Leaders who completely ignore other peoples’ right to exist and their sovereignty. An over-the-top ego.
It turned out that my client's mother had suffered rejection in the past from her own mother, who frequently called her names while sparing her brother. This exclusion cut through her soul and for her it was normal that distinctions had to be made. So she unconsciously passed this on to her own daughters like a relay baton. If this mother had really done her inner work to effectively process this soul pain, then that would starve the emotional need to pass this on, as a leader, to her own daughters. Many leaders with runaway egos have often suffered soul wounds in their lives that have remained unprocessed. And, unfortunately, quite a few current government leaders are allowing themselves to be influenced too strongly by painful wounds from nations’ history shared with other peoples.
We can also speak of collective soul pain, such as the soul pain of an organization, or the soul pain of a people that has suffered wounds over time. Because in every soul there is
historical baggage that is deeply anchored in the heart. Both joyful and traumatic events. And before you know it new soul pain merges with old soul pain and brings back unforgivable memories in milliseconds. This also happens in nations and peoples.
Like the Hamas attack on Israel. The right to exist as an Israeli people was deeply stirred. And before you know it, as the leader of their people, they take revenge on what is happening to them. This happens with an emotional charge and ferocity with which they also become guilty themselves of perpetrating war crimes, causing countless Palestinian victims. In essence, They are then doing the same thing to others that has happened to them when they were the victims in the past. Unprocessed collective soul pain then leads to destructive behavior that they decide on as the leader of their people. And so, as a leader, they maintain the ego-perpetrator-victim cycle. In doing so, they do not solve the collective trauma of the people, but rather strengthen it. In essence, they then build up a collective karma as a people or nation. In addition to revenge, they then go a step further and claim even more land at the expense of another people
This is quite different from the significant Bible story about the Good Samaritan, in which the 'enemy' helps their 'enemy'. What is happening now is a perfect example of heartless leadership. And not
And that does not require heartless leadership, but connecting leadership that can bring people together again. But how do we get there and what can you do as a leader in this?
both in small and large circles.
That requires us to go back to the source of our existence and shape new leadership from there. Because, how are we essentially connected to each other? And where did we all actually come from?
In essence we are all equal, we are all people who want to live in peace. With respect and tolerance for each other’s unique differences, in peaceful coexistence with everyone. With enough food, drink, shelter and equal rights for everyone.
But history has seen growing populations on earth over the centuries and millennia, with increasing diversification. The (too strong) ego identifications and focus on differences with others has led to greater polarization between people and nations. And that requires looking at it from a higher perspective. Just like when you zoom out and look at the earth, what do you see? Many astronauts see a beautiful blue ball without borders and often return to earth with a new consciousness that has touched them to their very soul. With more care for a sustainable earth where we are temporary guests, as well as care for limitless connection with each other in peace.
“If you zoom out, you see more of the whole”
This is not an exhaustive list, but I am convinced that if you engage in a few of these aspects of ‘spirited’ leadership, as a leader you will actually contribute more to a better world. On a small or large scale. In your family, organization or country.
Leaders who lead from "spirit" contribute to a better world. This includes:
No. If you take these steps as a leader, that is no guarantee for success. Because some people cannot (yet) provide harmony even if you invite them as a leader. Why? Because the people you lead may themselves be struggling with too big of an ego and/or unresolved soul pain. For example, they do not want to sacrifice their privileges (economically), or they do not want to bring the whole truth to light, they may be full of negative judgments about others in their heads and engage in opponent stigmatization. Or, they do not want to give up their built-up prestige, or yearn for more fame, power, material and territorial expansion.
Or, they have not gathered enough courage to heal their own unprocessed soul pain.
They choose to live from (apparent) strength and comfort and sweep their vulnerability under the rug. They then continue to live in their own pain that they justify and allow to exist, and repeat their own history of discontent, polarization or separation.
As a leader, do not be discouraged. You are not obliged to sacrifice your peace or peaceful intentions for people who are at war with themselves. And be aware that you do touch people with your connecting leadership.
Leaders have the potential to create a better world, but this requires self-reflection, humility and the willingness to transcend ego identifications. By leading from "spirit", you can contribute as a leader to a world in which peace, equality and sustainability are central. Both in small and large circles. And that is more than worth it.
#leadership #leadershipdevelopment #spiritueelleiderschap #spiritedleadership #Executivecoaching #teamcoaching #collectiefleiderschap #professionalcoaching #coaching #businesscoaching #conflictmangement #mediation #nowar #peace
Dutch 
English (United States)