How often have we've not heard it, and how often does the voice still resonate within you: “Just act normal, that's crazy enough; fit in; don't be so weird; be polite; don't stand out.”
According to the founders of the “Psychology of Selves & Voice Dialogue,” Hal & Sidra Stone, who trained me in the USA, the voice of the (inner) critic is nowhere as loud in the world as it is in the Netherlands. Fueled by Calvinism as a collective ego belief, we have sometimes made each other and ourselves smaller than who we essentially are. As a result, our potential has sometimes not fully come to light and some talents remain buried. Both in our work and in our private life.
Through messages from early and late authorities whose disapproval we do not want, we have banished our soul color with its original talents to the realm of darkness.
Of course, it is good to be critical of yourself, so that you are open to feedback and engage in self-reflection and thus continue to learn. Without this, you can be as damaging as an unscrupulous elephant walking through other people's china shops. However, if your critic goes too far, it makes you unnecessarily small, timid, paralyzed, or insecure. And your self-confidence goes down the drain. That does not do justice to your original raison d'être, to your soul that wants to live and express itself naturally.
HOW DO YOU GET RID OF AN OVERLY INNER CRITIC VOICE?
One solution is to ‘moderate’ your inner critic. Another solution is to activate your own soul color and your original proven or hidden talents. The latter is about empowerment, something they know more about in America. However, if that goes too far and the critic remains absent and no lessons are learned from one's own mistakes, it can also lead to unnecessary or even destructive consequences. In short, it's all about balance and moderation, which is something we can learn from each other's cultures.
WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE MORE YOURSELF AND NOT JUST ORDINARY?
Then take a look here, scroll down a little to the orange field and download a FREE promotional copy of the book: Spirited Personal Leadership.
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© 2025: Martin Thoolen
