I frequently lose sight of things. I feel fatigued. A persistent sensation I have had for months. Actually, it is getting worse. As if my light is gradually dimming. And, by the way, am I still doing what I believe in? Am I not allowing myself to be affected too much by what others think?
Who or what actually controls my life and career. In short, what is my compass?
Find your compass and regain control with personal leadership.
As an individual you can exercise personal leadership at three levels that not everyone is aware of. But they do have an enormous effect. My new book 'Personal Spirited Leadership' ( to appear in English in March 2023) explains that there are three forces that determine all your choices and behaviour, namely: your ego, your soul and awareness (spirit). Your interior (ego and soul) affects your exterior behaviour and the choices that you make.
© 2022: Martin Thoolen: Model ‘Personal Spirited Leadership'
A vital starting point when regaining control over your life is knowing that you are responsible for your own welfare. Without awareness, long term negative stress can cause burnouts. How do you prevent this? By consciously using three fundamental intervention levels:
The basic energy that enables you to keep whistling on your way to work when your soul feels 'at home' at work. You work with enthusiasm and passion, and your innate talents are utilised or enhanced - your job offers you challenges that motivate you.
Echter sommige werkomgevingen zijn uitgedroogd voor je of zelfs toxisch, daar waar anderen vruchtbaarder voor je ontwikkeling zijn. Soms is het laf om te gaan, maar soms laf om te blijven. Soms zijn aanpassingen van de functie toereikend om deze bezieling weer te activeren of een andere plek in de organisatie. Soms ook niet. Pak je dit niet aan, dan zal dit sluimerende ongenoegen vroeg of laat toch weer naar voren komen.
Experience has taught me that most people who suffer a burnout have a strong ego identification with their inner pleaser, pusher and/or perfectionist (the 3 Ps). If you fail to balance these basic forces another burnout will occur before too long. And they are not always easy to prevent. This is certainly true if your ego is stubbornly searching for permanent external recognition or approval or fears deficiency. However, creating a healthy balance and long-term durability requires you giving being/relaxation side of your ego more space. And that requires ego management, where you make choices involving well-considered sacrifices.
You increase the essential relaxation and extra time by applying stress and time management knowledge and skills. There is often a great deal to be gained by recognising (but above all acknowledging and taking the appropriate action) the stress signals that you feel and applying useful time management tips, such as setting priorities effectively.
Take a look at the book ‘Spirited Personal Leadership.’ For more effective work, a meaningful life and a better world. https://www.amazon.com/Spirited-Personal-Leadership-effective-meaningful/dp/9090368027/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1T35YC0885VAQ&keywords=spirited+personal+leadership&qid=1689054493&sprefix=spirited+personal+leadershipaps225&sr=8-1
See the promotional copy and find out whether my book could help you.
Check the new Master’s Course – Personal Spirited Leadership - here:.
©2022: Martin Thoolen
#personalleadership #inspiredleadership #spiritedpersonalleadership #mastercoursespritedpersonalleadership #coaching #training
Who am I? A question that will confront you in your work or life sooner or later. Particularly during career or life crises. Why wait? Why is it useful to know who you are right now? Because you often have much more in you, than you believe to be the case. Once you know this, you can make effective, useful and conscious choices that are true to you. Both with regard to how you work and your career, and your day-to-day and life choices.
If someone is asked who they are, what is a common response? A description, like: ‘I am a manager, 35 years old, academically educated, with an income, married to Y, residing in Amsterdam and am a determined, sometimes stubborn, but sincere person.’ In short, a list of characteristics. What, then, are the characteristics with which we identify that you see in the model below?
Your ego is highly skilled at identifying itself with all kinds of socially acceptable aspects of 'being'. Most people search for ways to gain recognition, appreciation, approval and love, or to belong to something and be special, and people who can fulfil these needs. These are the universal desires for and fears of a deficiency to which the ego responds.
That quest for recognition still takes place every day if you lacked it during your youth or later in life. And before you know it you make your feelings of self-esteem and wellbeing dependent on socially and societally desirable identifications that applaud you for your presence. This gives you the feeling that you are not alone and share something with like-minded people. You feel supported and that you matter. And that is the great desire of the soul striving for a right to exist. For example, you consistently see that people can become extremely attached to things. Examples:
If you identify with a personality type, ‘The Psychology of Selves’ and Voice Dialogue can reveal new possibilities. You can then see your ego as an ego bus on which your thoughts, feelings, behaviour and choices are controlled by constantly changing combinations of ego passengers. For example, your pleaser will sometimes make other choices than your inner warrior. Imagine if you were able to make more use of the 'silent passengers' on your ego bus. Wake them up and use them.
Beyond the ego with all of the social personas (social masks) there is a deeper layer of purity, passion, pain, joy, dedication, open-mindedness and spontaneity that enrich your work and life, namely: your soul. Every soul, including yours, is charged with five tasks that enable you to get the best from yourself from the cradle to the grave. They entail:
1. growth in awareness through felt experiences.
2. developing sovereignty over your own existence.
3. healing soul pain.
4. living with soul joy.
5. bringing original talents and dreams to life.
But there is even more!
Beyond ego and soul there is another power that is responsible for everything that is created, exists and disappears. This means that it is also responsible for how you make choices and behave. It is impossible to describe something that actually cannot be expressed in words. This is why the list below includes nine (holistic) approach routes for an essential power that simultaneously provides the solution when we wonder how we can create a better society. In one word: spirit. get to know this power, which has always been and will always remain present in your core.
Spirit is typified by aspects including the following.
1. all-encompassing awareness.
2. universal, driving life force & natural cycles.
3. life, unconditional love & neutrality.
4. awareness of abundance & willingness to share.
5. no time, development or management, but free will and here and now.
6. equality & equal rights.
6. equality & equal rights.
8. truth of the heart.
9. unity, source, interconnection & synchronicity.
My new book ‘Personal Spirited Leadership’ (to be released in English in March 2023) explains how you can use them in practice with practical cases and exercises. And when you use your awareness or spirit more:
Who are you then? The answer depends on your perspective. If your ego takes the lead it will use all kinds of ego labels and ego passengers. If you work and live primarily from the soul you are your true self, without make-up. Uninhibited, spontaneous, original, creative and pure. With your spirit at the helm, you are actually absolutely nothing…and everything, simultaneously.
By regaining control and letting your light shine with personal inspiring leadership. However, you can implement personal leadership at three levels, which determine all your choices and behaviour. Namely: Your ego, your soul and awareness (spirit). Your interior (ego and soul) affects your exterior behaviour and the choices you make.
Take a look at the book ‘Spirited Personal Leadership.’ For more effective work, a meaningful life and a better world. https://www.amazon.com/Spirited-Personal-Leadership-effective-meaningful/dp/9090368027/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1T35YC0885VAQ&keywords=spirited+personal+leadership&qid=1689054493&sprefix=spirited+personal+leadershipaps225&sr=8-1
See the promotional copy and find out whether my book could help you.
Would you like to personally experience how you can gain more control over your work and life?
Check the new Master’s Course – Spirited Personal Leadership - here:https://martinthoolen.com/en/service/master-module-persoonlijk-inspirerend-leiderschap/
©2023: Martin Thoolen
#personalleadership #inspiredleadership #spiritedpersonalleadership #mastercoursespritedpersonalleadership #coaching #training
Dear collaborators of 2022,
Thank you for your trust in me over the past year and the coaching, training or webinars you have followed with me. We keep going and there is more to come….
New in 2023: English edition book 'Personal Spirited Leadership'; E-books in Dutch and English for E-readers; Two Master courses 'Personal Spirited Leadership'; Expat coaching; Career coaching; Work pressure coaching; Webinars about, among other things, Team vitality and burnout.
I wish you and everyone around you a very healthy, nice and satisfied 2023!
Warm regards, Martin
You are incredibly busy. Every day. Absent team members are really inconvenient for you.
Always, actually.
Because you still want to achieve those team goals and help your organisation thrive. Without putting too much pressure on your team. How can you, as a manager, prevent burnouts? Or significantly reduce them in any case? So that team members don't collapse but are able to continue working for you. You can do a great deal, but this does require a new approach. Because you, in your position as manager or administrator, have enormous influence over this situation.
You are well aware of what burnouts cost your team: money, extra time spent on transfers and reduced job satisfaction, team spirit and team results.
“Burn-out is a massive energy drain in your team and organisation”
Everybody has their limits. Without exception. That's what makes us human, not robots. Two of the nine characteristics of awareness in my new book ‘Personally Inspiring Leadership,’ are: embracing the polarities (including exertion versus relaxation) and respecting natural cycles. If you follow these natural laws as a leader you will keep your team or organisation dynamic and durable.
In your role as manager, do you accept, listen and act appropriately for what you ask from your team members? That they must achieve targets and carry out (extra) tasks. But is this how you treat their vulnerabilities as people? Even if that is less beneficial for your bottom line? In short, do you embrace both the strengths and vulnerabilities of your team?
In concrete terms do you recognise the signs of physical and mental stress in your staff? Do you know what they are? Or do you keep distance and pay them scant attention? See what happens if you approach them more often or telephone to ask them how they really feel, making sure that you break through the barrier of social acceptability. Then you might be in time to head off burnouts.
If your team members are then honest enough to say that it is actually too much for them, acknowledge their negative stress? Because it is all too easy to minimise or justify the stress signals sent by your colleagues and fail to take action. Why? Because it might be inconvenient for you.
After rain comes sunshine, comes rain, comes sunshine, comes rain, etc. After inhalation comes exhalation, comes inhalation, comes exhalation, etc. After exertion comes relaxation, comes exertion, comes relaxation, etc
These natural cycles typify natural life itself and keep us energetic and durable. And this also applies to your team or organisation. There is just one thing that can completely work against this and cause systematic negative stress in you or your team: ego fed by fear. Experience reveals that three ego passengers in people totally ignore natural laws: your inner pleaser, pusher and perfectionist. They may encourage us to go on for longer and worker harder than our body can handle, until the lights go out. Because those who don't want to hear must feel. A terrible pity.
If you don't allow your ego as a leader to constantly dominate you and your team members you will open the door to team vitality and durability. If you respect necessary relaxation and vulnerability your leadership will be so much more effective in the long run.
Would you like to know how to recognise and acknowledge stress signals from your team members and how to deal with them effectively? Would you like to learn practical ways to strengthen team spirit as a buffer to stress?
I the past I provided a couple of webinars for administrators, school heads and internal facilitators in cooperation with Leeruniek: Team vitality and durability.
Yes, please contact me [email protected]. or call/app me on: +31-6-15620111
In a free orientation we can look how I can be at your service.
Take a look at this Christmas present: the book ‘Personally Inspiring Leadership.’ For more effective work, a meaningful life and a better world. View or order a copy here:
(English book will appear in the beginning of 2023). Click on Fragment to see the promotional copy and find out whether my book could help you.
Or experience in person how you can improve your work/life balance with the new Personally Inspiring Leadership Master's Course:
©2022: Martin Thoolen
#persoonlijkinspirerendleiderschap #persoonlijkleiderschap #inspirerendleiderschap #mastercoursepersoonlijkinspirerendleiderschap #coaching #training #egomanagement #ego #stress #stressmanagement #werkdruk #burnout #vitaliteit
Working in The Netherlands as an expat? Or as a Dutch expat abroad?
Can you use some support as an international professional to find your way? Maybe Expat Coaching is just for you! Watch here.
Matthijs van Nieuwkerk, Glennis Grace, Marco Borsato en met hen vele andere (beroemde) mensen; vroeg of laat slaan ze door en komt de totale waarheid aan het licht. Wat is er eigenlijk aan de hand? En hoe lossen we het op?
It all revolves around their ego, which clamps itself determinedly to a few ego passengers, focusing on projecting a positive image. But there is no real awareness that this is happening.
One of the three fundamental forces that determine all our choices and behaviour is our ego, as I explain in my new book - Personal Inspiring Leadership. It highlights several points, including the fact that your ego is nothing more than the 'I' that you identify with and think 'this is how I am'. You are frequently controlled subconsciously by a number of ego passengers. You can see your ego as a bus on which each passenger thinks, feels, sees, talks and acts differently. You behave very differently when your inner pleaser pleaser drives the bus instead of, for example, your instinctive, animal ego passenger.
In people who demand a positive public image of themselves you often see the following ego passengers hijacking thoughts and actions: the pleaser, controller, perfectionist, pusher or patriarch The less socially desirable ego passengers are subconsciously left on the back seat or even moved to the trailer of oblivion, starting their own demonic lives in the darkness.
However, everything that you hide in yourself will boomerang back on you eventually. See what happens when you systematically push away your instinctive passenger, just like trying to push a ball ever further underwater. Despite your best efforts the instinctive passenger will resurface with hellish rage, unbridled sexual desire or unacceptable behaviour and insults directed towards others. And all this happened to Kanye West, Prince Andrew, Bill Cosby and so many other celebrities.
“Everything that you hide in yourself will boomerang back on you eventually”
We are living in a time of great spiritual transition in which the truth is gradually being unveiled. That which could remain concealed is coming to light sooner and more often. This provides a more complete picture of what is really happening. It is preceded by intense polarisation, but growing transparency helps us see the truth. How do we resolve this polarisation? Simply by setting good examples, at home and at work.
Prevent polarisation and employ ego management - recognise and acknowledge your light and dark sides and handle them more effectively. This requires courage and relentless honesty about all aspects of yourself. For example, do not suppress your instinctive ego passengers, but rather acknowledge, embrace and communicate them. Prevent the accumulation of an emotional dam full of anger or unfulfilled sexual desires. Because when your inner controller runs out of energy and the dam breaks you will be inundated.
Check the new Master’s Course – Spirited Personal Leadership - here:
https://martinthoolen.com/en/service/master-module-persoonlijk-inspirerend-leiderschap/
Or enrich yourself with the insights and knowledge that help you in my new (Dutch) book: https://www.amazon.com/Spirited-Personal-Leadership-effective-meaningful/dp/9090368027/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1T35YC0885VAQ&keywords=spirited+personal+leadership&qid=1689054493&sprefix=spirited+personal+leadershipaps225&sr=8-1
(English book will appear in the beginning of 2023) Click on Fragment to see the promotional copy and find out whether my book could help you.
©2022: Martin Thoolen
#personalleadership #inspiredleadership #spiritedpersonalleadership #mastercoursespritedpersonalleadership #coaching #training
For professionals, managers, leaders and administrators with HBO or academic work and thinking level.
Th.fr. 30/31 March; 11/12 May; 15/16 June 2023
Request a free intake. Look here or download the brochure here: https://martinthoolen.com/en/service/master-module-persoonlijk-inspirerend-leiderschap/
Go to: https://bit.ly/3V7uO2O Click on 'Fragment' beneath the cover and have a look at the promo copy
#persoonlijkinspirerendleiderschap #persoonlijkleiderschap #inspirerendleiderscha #coaching #training #trainingcourses #mastercoursepersoonlijkinspirerendleiderschap #duurzameinzetbaarheid #stressmanagement #zelfmanagement #personalempowerment #burnout
for effective work, meaningful living and a better world
From now on the Dutch hardcopy is deliverable. The English version will appear at the beginnign of 2023. https://bit.ly/3V7uO2O
Want to take a look at the Dutch hardcopy?
Click on 'Fragment' beneath the cover and have a look at the promo copy
After three years of work, over 300 pages of new inspiration has finally landed. For your work and private life. If you find it interesting and start reading, I'm curious what you think of it.
Oh yes, do you like to give this inspiration to a family member, friend or colleague?
It would be nice if you share this post.
Kind regards and above all enjoy reading, Martin
P.S. How the world has become is close to my heart. In small and large. That is why I have spent the past 3 years browsing and writing how we can make it more beautiful for ourselves and each other, at work and beyond. This is the result.
This book is intended for anyone who, in their private or work life, wants to:
– effectiever wil werken
– zijn/haar talenten verder wil ontwikkelen
– een gezonde werk/leven-balans wenst
– regie over je eigen leven en werk wil vergroten
– meer plezier, passie, zingeving en vitaliteit wil beleven
– meer innerlijke rust en vrede wil voelen
– wil bijdragen aan betere relaties, zowel zakelijk, als privé
– een zinvolle bijdrage wil leveren aan een betere wereld.
Regardless of whether you are a leader, lawmaker, entrepreneur, manager, professional, associate, student, parent, family member, teenager or an adult.
This book will take you straight to the source of all your choices and behaviors. It will give you accessible insights, inspiring examples and exercises that you’ll be able to apply immediately, and see results of quickly. You will gain insight into the three forces that determine each and every one of your choices, behaviors and personal leadership: ego, soul and consciousness (spirit).
The following questions will be answered: What is ego anyway? Should you jettison your ego? What are the benefits of ego, and what are its pitfalls? Or, what is the soul? Is there a reason for our existence? What are the five existential tasks the soul has to tackle? What are the pros and cons of working and living from inspiration? And, what is spirit or consciousness? How can you utilize it more to have smoother relationships in private and at work and to create more peace for yourself and others around you? In the last section of the book you will see how you can make a real contribution towards a better world.
Negative work pressure is relieved if you use time and stress management, which are handy behavioural skills. However, apparently they may still be far from sufficient. Why? Because you have not tackled the root cause.
That is what I have noticed in hundreds of clients who I helped to gain vitality and lasting employability over the last 30 years.
Want voorbij gedrag, zijn er diepere krachten die je gedrag aansturen, waaronder je ego en je ziel, zoals je terugziet in mijn boek: ‘Persoonlijk Inspirerend Leiderschap’.
Most people suffering excessive stress or burn outs often carry a potent combination of three ego passengers in their personality. Passengers that they have worked with for years (frequently being insufficiently aware of them): the pleaser, pusher and perfectionist. If you don’t rebalance these core elements, negative stress can easily return.
If you penetrate to an even deeper level, beyond your personality, inspiration also plays a fundamental role. Because:
‘Every relationship or system that offers insufficient space for the existence and unique expression of the soul imprisons the soul and can cause serious physical illness’.
Work environments can sometimes be healthy for your soul but may also become toxic. (geworden).
‘Soms is het laf voor je ziel om te gaan, maar soms laf om te blijven’.
In short, if you want to tackle this issue at the source you can request an interactive workshop for you and your colleagues. I have a wealth of experience in this field, including organising workshops for attorney generals, the Public Prosecutor’s Office and other organisations. Ask for an intake interview and send an e-mail to: [email protected]..
Whether you want to help yourself or a member of staff to relieve the negative pressure, take a look at what an individual coaching session can do for you. See: https://martinthoolen.com/en/service/coaching-vitaliteit-duurzame-inzetbaarheid/
©2022: Martin Thoolen
#Stress #Stressmanagement #timemanagement #personalleadership #vitality # mentalheath #coaching #training #duurzameinzetbaarheid #werkdruk #stress#stressmanagement #timemanagement
How miracles come (back again) into your work an life? By opening yourself up to synchronicity and interconnection. Because everything is connected to everything. This is one of the nine attributes of spirit (consciousness) that you will find in my English book ‘Spirited Personal Leadership’ that ia released on December 1, 2022.
Alongside practical cases, insights, and exercises about how these cosmic winks can help you with your work, I also share an occasional personal story. This is one of them, it’s almost unbelievable but it’s true.
It was an unforgettable summer. In 2005 I was traveling in British Columbia, Canada. It was my heart’s desire to be part of a sweat lodge ceremony with only real ‘natives’, and to connect with Leonard George, the son of legendary chief Dan George. What was to happen later exceeded all my expectations. I ended up in a stream of wonderment with a lot of synchronicity, that literally showed me that everything is connected to everything.
In the tourist office in downtown Vancouver I told an associate about my work and my heart‘s desire. After a while she said ‘I never do this but I happen to know someone who can help you get Leonard George’s phone number.’ I walked out the door totally ‘uplifted.’ I made the call and Leonard’s phone number was given to me. However, it didn’t feel like the right time to call Leonard until two weeks later when something special happened.
After literally seeing more bears on the road than people I wound up in the coastal town of Tofino on Vancouver Island. I was spontaneously attracted to a building that had a large eagle painted on the side of it. I’ve always been attracted to eagles and hawks. When I was 14 years old I created my signature featuring a sun and two eagles, which I use to this day. Years later I found out that according to Mayan astrology I was born on the day of Double Eagle (tone 11)!
When I went inside, I naturally walked over to an old canoe and held the edge of it with my hand. Without thinking about it, suddenly a wave of emotions came over me. The only thing I could think was: ‘I’ve been in one of these things before.’ The feel of the wood, the scent, what it looked like, I just knew it. I was so deeply touched that I wanted to know whose building this was and who had created all this art. It was Sir Roy Henry Vickers, a chief of the Eagle clan.
A new desire was born: I wanted to meet him. Except, he wasn’t there but somewhere on the mainland and nobody knew exactly where to find him. After I went back outside, I sat for a while overlooking the bay and I decided now it was time to call Leonard George.
Lo and behold, I got a hold of him. We talked for about 20 minutes and I indicated that I’d like to meet Roy Vickers and participate in a sweat lodge. In response he told me: ‘Just follow the spirits.’ Two weeks later it seemed like the impossible was about to happen.
After driving for about three hours from St. Rupert eastward into the mainland, we suddenly saw a black bear cross the road, going to the left. At that moment I remembered the words ‘follow the spirits’ and I decided to make a left turn, deviating from the original plan. After about an hour I came to a small village called Hazelton. Looking for ‘natives’ I ended up in a large bingo hall where I inquired about a sweat lodge. I was referred to band member Mike who was the day-to-day manager of the reservation. He was reserved at first, until I told him I had spoken with Leonard George. The next day a sweat lodge was organized.
Mike led us to the sweat lodge, set up a few yards away from the salmon-rich and roiling Skeena river. Mike turned out to be a member of the Eagle clan, just like Roy Vickers. I had just met another pair of figurative Eagles! Just before the ceremony started two actual Eagles flew past the entrance above the river! But that wasn’t everything.
After round two I heard a quad arriving and being parked in front of the sweat lodge. Mike invited the new arrival to be in charge of the ceremony, and the man sat right next to me near the entrance. It was Roy Vickers! Of all places! How was this possible? How could it be that in all of Canada I happened to be sitting next to Roy, whom I’d been looking for, while I didn’t even know where he was?!
My heart’s desire to meet Leonard George, to participate in a genuine sweat lodge and meet Roy Vickers had all come to pass. ‘Just follow the spirits.’
When I returned to Holland, I looked up what day the sweat lodge had been according to Mayan astrology: It had been my birthday of the Double Eagle (tone 11)! How was this even possible? For me this was really a sign that coincidences aren’t just coincidences. And that on a spirit level we are always connected. Roy beautifully and powerfully put this into words in a message to me: ‘Friends in spirit.’
More information about Roy you’ll find on: www.royhenryvickers.com
© 2025: Martin Thoolen
