In the beginning of October 2025 Martin was interviewed about his current work. Taken by Alessandro, Organizational Psychologist student who’s doing a study about job analysis. For those interested in the kind of work Martin provides and used methods as well as examples from daily experiences from customers that make the insights come to life. We’ll hope you’ll enjoy.
During my travels around the world, I found inspiration from unexpected encounters that I'd like to share with you. Sometimes you have to go (far) away to get closer. This time: ‘The Famous Healer from Ubud'.
Sometimes we're simply looking for direction, confirmation, or support. Me too. Then we might turn to an astrologer, psychic, reader, or healer. Or to a spiritual guide from your religion. Sometimes we're simply looking for direction, confirmation, or support. Me too. Then we might turn to an astrologer, psychic, reader, or healer. Or to a spiritual guide from your religion.
Do you remember that book and that movie: ‘Eat, Pray, Love’ by Elisabeth Gilbert, adapted into a film starring Julia Roberts? In it, the main character visits a "Balean," a spiritual healer in Ubud, Indonesia, named Cokorda Rai. So I thought, "I want to go there too." No sooner said than done.
I surrendered to what he called a Kitra Healing. He screened my head several times, pulled painfully on my ears a few times, and hit them incredibly hard, then said, "You have nothing. What can I do for you?"
A dialogue ensued where he asked me what kind of job I did, and I replied: "(spiritual) empowerment." He responded with a warm smile and said, "Oh, so you're also a healer. Mmm, you are a gentle man. You've come to bring peace to the world. There's a wall between you, but you move through it. You embrace the world and bring Light and peace to the world, which is good."
‘What are you supposed to do with these words?’ I immediately wondered. ‘How seriously should I take this? Maybe none of it is true.’ But strangely enough, it supported me to continue with my life's dream: to make my own contribution to a better world, however small or large. Years later, I managed to materialize my contribution in, among other things, my second book: ‘Spirited Personal Leadership, for more effective work, a meaningful life, and a better world." With thanks to Cokorda Rai 🙏.
Over the past decades, I've made several trips to healers, shamans, chiefs, gurus, and mediums who shared their perspectives on my life and work. And quite a lot of it was bullshit. Therefore, never outsource your own authority and individuality to others or blindly follow their advice. Remain critical and walk away if it no longer feels right.
But in every area, including here, you have qualitatively sharp and valuable guides. For me, an important criterion is whether it touches on the truth and as long as it supports me in realizing my life's dream. In that case, there's nothing wrong with that. In fact, it's extremely stimulating.
So why not, with a critical eye, occasionally open yourself up to good guides who inspire you?
I hope it leads to positive, original and talented choices in your life and work.
Here’s a short impression of some of my journeys of discovery. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ca58VpEoy_Y
Martin
© 2025: Martin Thoolen
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How do you make learning at work self-wanting– and not something that ‘comes on top of it?’ Today, LinkedIn asked me to share my perspective. This isn't an exhaustive list, but seven essential ways to contribute.
You work and learn optimally when you do what you need to do, are good at, or can develop, love to do, and have the courage to do it. This means that when choosing your career or study program, it's important to do what you're naturally drawn to and are good at. And for employers, it's crucial to optimize recruitment and selection based on this.
If you're naturally drawn to learning, it takes less energy. In fact, you look forward to it. So make career and learning choices based on that as well.
If you really want to achieve something, you're more likely to make time to tackle the learning steps that lead to it. You know what you're doing it for.
Rewards make desired behavior occur faster and more often. Consider rewards such as a certificate or diploma, a promotion, a bonus or salary increase, increased job opportunities, etc. These prospects often stimulate self-learning.
Education and courses vary in how much fun they make learning. This depends on the type of learning material, whether or not they use motivating and expert instructors/facilitators, whether or not they use attractive training methods, etc.
Someone once said: "You only learn when you make mistakes." See it as an opportunity to improve. The point is that you're allowed, or even required, to make mistakes in order to grow. You'll then know exactly what your development points are and can focus and thus learn more effectively. Don't "downsize" yourself or the learners in your organization, but "empower" them to learn.
Apply uniform codes of conduct for a socially safe learning and working environment. Prevent or effectively deal with bullying. Provide a reliable and knowledgeable confidant. Reward and celebrate interim successes together.
1. By doing or wanting the job that suits you and that you really want
2. You genuinely enjoy and find it challenging to learn what's required
3. You have an ambitious goal that you're eager to achieve
4. If it's rewarding for what it will give you
5. Make learning fun
6. Allowing people to make mistakes
7. Providing a safe, stimulating learning and working environment
Let's hope that learning becomes even more fun! Martin
© 2025: Martin Thoolen
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During my travels around the world, I found inspiration from unexpected encounters that I'd like to share with you. Sometimes you have to go (far) away to get closer. This time: ‘The Flowing Soul'.
Sitting by a flowing stream in the forests of Queensland, Australia, I wondered years ago: If water flows, giving and receiving, would that also apply to the soul? Does it also flow best when it gives and receives as a natural cycle of life? And if so, how do you translate that into choices you make in your own work and life?
Suppose the soul has a giving and receiving side, then you also know that you can become depleted if you can no longer receive what is good for your soul. And then you can no longer give from that source. Then you become a source of pollution. Then it's important that you cleanse your source.
A soul naturally wants to express itself with its talents, joy of life, pain, desires, and dreams. It 'must' express itself. And any system or relationship you enter into that limits that, imprisons your soul and can even make your body seriously ill.
If the soul were to flow, then besides giving, it must also receive. Like receiving felt experiences from which you can learn. The soul cannot ‘not’ receive, because then the (natural) circle of giving and receiving is broken. Therefore, the soul must also receive. If you haven't received what your soul needs for a long time, you also become empty or depressed. And if you can't express yourself naturally, you become frustrated. It must therefore be an ongoing circle, just like a flowing stream.
This can mean that during your soul's journey, certain people, encounters, jobs, or roles may be suitable for a particular phase of your life’s journey and beneficial to your soul, but in a new phase, they may no longer be suitable at all. Especially not if the circle of giving and receiving is no longer balanced for your soul. And you feel deeply frustrated or depressed.
To break through the dams blocking your inspiration and flow, you can identify what instantly gives you positive energy and then choose and act on it. This could be a relaxing walk in the park; a new job; new friends. And what it requires also, is the courage to let go of what no longer serves you into the flow. A salmon, just like the you within, can die if too many dams have formed in your life or work. If you allow the natural flow to be dammed too much by other people and "normal" systems, then that is actually unnatural, which is deadly for the soul that wants to live and flourish.
In short, dare to examine what forms do and don't fit anymore. Dare to let go of old forms that no longer serve you. And accept the grief over them as a sacrifice. And choose new forms and relationships that will instantly make you shine. Then the flowing soul will return, giving your life and work more fulfillment and impact.
Martin
Here’s a short impression of some of my journeys of discovery. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ca58VpEoy_Y
© 2025: Martin Thoolen
#wereldinspiraties #worldinspirations #reisverhalenmartinthoolen #travelstoriesmartinthoolen #spirit #synchroniciteit #synchronicity #firstnations #persoonlijkinspirerendleiderschap #persoonlijkleiderschap #leadership #leadershipdevelopment #personalleadership #leiderschap #spiritueelleiderschap #spiritedleadership #executivecoaching #leiderschap #leiderschapsontwikkeling #teamcoaching #collectiefleiderschap #professionalcoaching #coaching #businesscoaching #psychologyofselves #voicedialogue #egozielspirit #egosoulspirit #awarenessatwork #martinthoolen
Yesterday, a 50-year-old coaching client and Senior Product Manager in Haarlem wanted to give his career a new direction. When I asked him what his talents were, he fell silent. He was at a loss. He had forgotten his talents.
This, despite the fact that he had consistently achieved many successes over the years through his own talents, such as: the talent for connecting all kinds of national and international stakeholders; often coming up with new, creative commercial solutions; and getting the most out of his team members through empowerment: discovering and strengthening each other's natural talents. This fostered team spirit and allowed successes to be celebrated together.
His father's internalized critical voice downsized him to the point that he characterized his talents as ordinary and normal. Sound familiar? However, this doesn't do justice to the original added value he always provided. It was time to retrieve his forgotten talents from his treasure chest.
Just because something comes naturally doesn't mean it's not special. It actually isbecause it originates from an original source. Everything that comes naturally stems from a natural talent and should be fully embraced and recognized as its original added value, by others, but also by and from yourself.
"Everything that comes naturally stems from a natural talent"
RETRIEVE YOUR TALENTS FROM YOUR OWN TREASURY
So if you sometimes feel like you're not up to par, write down all your proven talents, fully embrace them as a natural gift you have to offer others. And then seek out environments where your talents can flourish most.
Your passion will come to light, and your work will become much more enjoyable and effective.
Martin
© 2025: Martin Thoolen
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How often have we heard it: you have to get rid of your ego! Leave it at the door! But is that actually true? Or can you use ego as a tool to give substance to your inspiration and talents, or even unconditional love and universal consciousness?
If there was a God, why would humans be born with or develop an ego even at a very early age? Some babies in the cradle show more ego than others even though ego seems to be less prevalent than in adults. For example, when it comes to what they do or don't want. One of the functions of our ego is to set boundaries.
In a world whithout egos, the argument that you have to get rid of your ego would be useful. But we live on Earth where there is an ever-increasing ego density. Just look around you. A young university student recently told me during a coaching session that performing better than others and quickly building a strong curriculum are of the utmost importance, even if it comes at the expense of others or your health. Even in politics, one's own curriculum seems to have become more important than serving the common interest. Welcome to the world of ego.
To avoid being drowned in the ego games or the ego violence of others or ego systems, it's actually beneficial to develop a measured ego.
In some non-dualistic movements, however, you are compelled to get rid of your ego. Bloody dangerous, I'd say. The founder of Voice Dialogue, Hal Stone, once told me during a training with him and his wife Sidra at their home in California: "Martin, you can go to any Ashram in India you want to, as long as you bring your inner protector with you. That way, you can leave it doesn't feel right anymore."
Moreover, over the past 35 years, I've observed a strong spiritual ego in several gurus from both the East and West. For example, at a 10-day Silent Retreat abroad, where the gurus literally positioned themselves on decorated King and Queen throne above the participants. This, despite the fact that there weren't that many participants. Equal? Spirit and universal consciousness don't know a hierarchy, do they?
When a band started playing outside the retreat location, the silence was somewhat disturbed. The teachers' angry looks and charged remarks betrayed the presence of a powerful "judgmental force" that suddenly appeared like a Jack in the Boxx. That didn’t look really judgment-free, did it?
So pay attention, especially to those who think or say they've transcended their ego. It could very well be different.
Don't get me wrong, I'm a fan of non-dualism, which gives a deeply connected sense of peace with yourself and truly everything around you. I've experienced it myself. But I also believe in multi-dimensionality here on Earth. We are all invited to learn to deal with the ego’s and egosystems around us that are simply present as well as our own ego as a part of our conscious learning. And develop it in such a way that universal consciousness (spirit), your soul, and a balanced ego can go hand in hand.
“We are all invited to learn to deal with the ego’s and egosystems around us that are simply present as well as our own ego as a part of our conscious learning. And develop it in such a way that universal consciousness (spirit), your soul, and a balanced ego can go hand in hand”
But what is ego, actually? What are the advantages of a balanced ego? How can it help you, but also hinder you?
Ego is the "I" with which you distinguish yourself from others, but sometimes also separate yourself with. It's the "I" with which you identify, as if "this is how I am." You identify with certain forms within and outside yourself. Such as your name, your nationality, your origins, your profession, your personal qualities, etc. Wherever you put the word "mine," it reveals itself. My country, my house, my characteristics, etc. Nothing wrong with that in itself, until you have become too attached to these identifications and do not want to let them go.
What are some benefits of ego?
Protection:
Some things that come your way are unsafe or can unnecessarily hurt your soul. Whether material, physical, emotional, mental, or spiritual. Setting boundaries, creating distance, or leaving the space helps you avoid remaining a victim of unpleasant invasions or bad situations.
Visibility:
Too little ego can lead to you not seeing yourself as worthwhile enough or not showing the talents you have to offer. How can you be seen if you don't show yourself? Your individuality, soul color and original talents come to light when you develop a balanced ego.
“How can you be seen if you don't show yourself?”
Strategic insight and action:
In the absence of the inner strategist in your ego, you easily become a victim of the ego games of others. Not everyone is aware of the consequences of their actions or their behaviors for you, or don't have good intentions for you or they just want to use you for their own gain. Once you realize this, you won't let yourself be drained by the needs of others. So it's important to be sufficiently aware of this and develop an adequate ego to deal with it.
There are even more benefits to an aware and well-managed ego, such as maintaining a balance between work and personal life, striking a balance between hard work and relaxation, and being gentler with yourself and others. Because everything you're allergic to is also inside you, just in different forms.
The ego hinders you when it overshoots and you are unconsciously controlled by a lack of self-reflection, ignorance, fear of shortage, greed, status, material possessions, self-interest, and power. In the book "Spirited Personal Leadership," you will find eight roles you can become ensnared in when the ego takes over:
Before you know it, you are unknowingly driven by these roles because they temporarily fuel your feeling of self-worth. This is usually due to a hidden fear of not being seen or appreciated enough, of having too little, or of not receiving approval or acceptance from others.
If these roles primarily drive you, you become disconnected from the universal consciousness or spirit that can give you the following: internal and external peace, true connection from the heart, contentment, joy, vitality, and optimal talent development.
How do you ensure your ego doesn't get too large or too small? In a way that it does not hinder you, but i a way that helps you?
Underlying your behavior, your ego is often controlled by your personality, or "personas," as Swiss psychologist Carl Jung called them. These are also referred to as social masks.
You can think of your ego as a personal bus that is—usually unconsciously—driven by your own ego passengers. Depending on who's behind the wheel, you think differently, look differently, feel differently, behave differently, and choose differently.
This theory comes from the founders of the "Psychology of Selves & Voice Dialogue," Hal & Sidra Stone, whom I was trained by in the USA. They indicate that getting to know your primary selves, which often determine your behavior, will throw you off balance if you don't get to know, invite, and manage the secondary passengers in the back of your ego bus or even in a trailer behind the bus.
Hal & Sidra Stone & Martin
If you primarily live with your pleaser, perfectionist, and pusher side taking the wheel you're ripe for burnout because you've neglected your more relaxed self for too long. Invite your secondary ego passenger to drive 10% of the time, dare to step outside your primary comfort zone, and you'll already be more balanced.
If, as a leader, you lead primarily from your inner patriarch, you elevate yourself and infantilize the potential below you. However, if you're open to criticism and act on it, share it equally with your people, and empower them, team spirit can flourish. Even if it's only 10% more.
"Don't deny your own ego, get to know it, and learn to manage it."
In short, balance and moderation are the key words for which continuous necessary self-reflection is required: Don't deny your own ego, get to know it, and learn to manage it. In this way, your ego, alongside your body, becomes a functional instrument for shaping your inspiration, your individuality, and your original talents. It also serves as a vehicle for functionally embodying commonality and "true" connection. Then your ego brings you a great deal.
Experience the Voice Dialogue method in training or coaching and ask for a free online-intake here. Or take a look at the book: Spirited Personal Leadership.
I wish you a wonderful development where your ego serves your soul and spirit.
Martin
#persoonlijkinspirerendleiderschap #persoonlijkleiderschap #leadership #leadershipdevelopment #personalleadership #leiderschap #spiritueelleiderschap #spiritedleadership #spiritedpersonalleadership #executivecoaching #leiderschap #leiderschapsontwikkeling #teamcoaching #collectiefleiderschap #professionalcoaching #coaching #businesscoaching#psychologyofselves #voicedialogue #efo #awareego #egozielspirit #egosoulspirit #awarenessatwork #martinthoolen
© 2025: Martin Thoolen
How often have we've not heard it, and how often does the voice still resonate within you: “Just act normal, that's crazy enough; fit in; don't be so weird; be polite; don't stand out.”
According to the founders of the “Psychology of Selves & Voice Dialogue,” Hal & Sidra Stone, who trained me in the USA, the voice of the (inner) critic is nowhere as loud in the world as it is in the Netherlands. Fueled by Calvinism as a collective ego belief, we have sometimes made each other and ourselves smaller than who we essentially are. As a result, our potential has sometimes not fully come to light and some talents remain buried. Both in our work and in our private life.
Through messages from early and late authorities whose disapproval we do not want, we have banished our soul color with its original talents to the realm of darkness.
Of course, it is good to be critical of yourself, so that you are open to feedback and engage in self-reflection and thus continue to learn. Without this, you can be as damaging as an unscrupulous elephant walking through other people's china shops. However, if your critic goes too far, it makes you unnecessarily small, timid, paralyzed, or insecure. And your self-confidence goes down the drain. That does not do justice to your original raison d'être, to your soul that wants to live and express itself naturally.
HOW DO YOU GET RID OF AN OVERLY INNER CRITIC VOICE?
One solution is to ‘moderate’ your inner critic. Another solution is to activate your own soul color and your original proven or hidden talents. The latter is about empowerment, something they know more about in America. However, if that goes too far and the critic remains absent and no lessons are learned from one's own mistakes, it can also lead to unnecessary or even destructive consequences. In short, it's all about balance and moderation, which is something we can learn from each other's cultures.
WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE MORE YOURSELF AND NOT JUST ORDINARY?
Then take a look here, scroll down a little to the orange field and download a FREE promotional copy of the book: Spirited Personal Leadership.
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© 2025: Martin Thoolen
During my travels around the world, I found inspiration from unexpected encounters that I'd like to share with you. Sometimes you have to go (far) away to get closer. This time: ‘Coaching of Natives show what we have in common'.
Years ago, I was involved in a 10-day ceremonial event for Canadian First Nations Indians on Bella Bella Island on Canada's west coast. An unforgettable experience, especially because of the discoveries I made while coaching a number of First Nations Natives
I volunteered my services as a psychologist/coach and invited people to what I then called ‘Healing Talks’. I made a makeshift flyer to invite people. And miraculously, young and old people came to me, from whom I could learn more than I could from them. For they carried generations of wisdom that many, including myself, had long been cut off from. Nevertheless, they showed their appreciation for my listening ear and interventions.
One of my memories is of a young woman who had experienced incest, which deeply hurt her. She hadn't even talked about it with anyone out of shame! She had closed herself off to further contact with men, but she wasn't happy with that either. After sharing her story and hearing some of my suggestions for further action, she was visibly relieved.
An older Chief who came to me for help had previously been to a well-known psychologist with many titles in Vancouver. Upon arrival, she scolded him for being a few minutes late and forgot about him: "Who do you think you are!" His faith in mental health services had vanished like snow in the sun. Initially, he was very reserved with me, but his curiosity won, and afterward, I received an unforgettable hug.
What also became clear from the other coaching sessions? Even though we have cultural differences, we are all essentially the same. They too are people with egos, with wounds in their soul baggage that they carry and shape. They too have bright and dark sides, which sometimes lead to violence and crime. They too believe in a creative force that connects us, which they often describe as "Great Spirit." No difference.
These experiences have strengthened my belief that ego, soul, and spirit (consciousness) are universal keys to self-development, leading to greater inner and outer peace. You'll find this in my book "Spirited Personal Leadership." https://martinthoolen.com/en/publicaties/
“Ook al hebben we cultuurverschillen, we zijn in essentie allemaal hetzelfde”
How wonderful it is when we can look at the "person" behind culture, behind history, behind religion, behind the professional, behind every role we play in life and work. Then we can truly connect with ourselves and each other.
© 2025: Martin Thoolen
Here’s a short impression of some of my journeys of discovery. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ca58VpEoy_Y
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On Sunday, September 21st, I was interviewed by Sander de Wijs about my book "Spirited Personal Leadership": What a wonderful meeting. About the forces that guide our behavior and choices, such as ego, soul, and consciousness. How you can make your own life and work more positive in these dark times.
If you'd like to hear about it, take a look here:
I hope it resonates with you too. And if you've heard it, I'd love to hear what you think, so please let me know. Warm regards and, above all, happy listening! Best regards, Martin
During my travels around the world, I found inspiration from unexpected encounters that I'd like to share with you. Sometimes you have to go (far) away to get closer. This time: ‘What the Rainbow Shows and The Forgotten Light'.
Years ago, I was sailing on a ferry from England to Ireland. Imagine: cold, gray sky, gloomy decorations on the ship, drizzly, fog banks, rain and hours of sailing. It all looked a bit gloomy. After a few hours I started daydreaming. I looked outside and suddenly saw the sun peeping through the fog banks. And suddenly there was a crystal-clear rainbow.
I could only watch, until a voice out of nowhere told me: ‘All religions and individual souls are like colors of the rainbow. As one rises above the other, we contribute to inner and outer wars. The white, forgotten sunlight reminds us of what we have in common and where we come from and are going together.
Once we live with the common values of spirit (such as love, peace, tolerance, coexistence, forgiveness and wisdom), which you find in all religions, we make a true connection, with respect, and can create paradise on earth.'
“Spirit knows no hierarchy or exclusion”
Spirit knows no hierarchy or exclusion. If you work and live from a place of equality and inclusion, a whole (new) world will open up for you.
Here’s a short impression of some of my journeys of discovery..
© 2025: Martin Thoolen
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